

But to really give them honest and actionable solutions for how they might be able to stay and honestly, what is a toxic solution without turning themselves into a human sacrifice?Īudrey Hamilton: Now, the psychological term “narcissism” does get thrown around quite a bit as sort of a catch all term for someone who is self-involved or overconfident in themselves. So while a person is in a toxic relationship and doesn’t feel at that point that they can leave, I didn’t feel like then they should remain a human sacrifice or stay in something that’s truly a lost cause.

I mean, the list goes on and they’re all very valid and very important reasons. People stay in relationships for lots of reasons – money, security, fear of being alone, culture, religion, children. Ramani Durvasula: When I called this book “Should I Stay or Should I Go” it would have been so easy to just call it “Go.” But, the fact of the matter is is that relationships aren’t that simple, are they? And that I felt that as a psychologist, I really had to look at it through that compassionate and realistic lens. But you’re saying that’s not always possible. I think most people would say if you’re in a relationship with someone who is bad for you, you should leave. But, your book sort of touches on something that surprised me – how do we or should we stay in these relationships? You know, that seems sort of counter intuitive. Ramani Durvasula: Thank you so much for having me.Īudrey Hamilton: I think a lot of our listeners can relate to being involved in a bad or a toxic relationship. Most recently, she has written a book “Should I Stay or Should I Go? Surviving a Relationship With a Narcissist.” Welcome, Dr. She has been an active member of APA committees, including the committee on psychology and AIDS and was vice-chair of the committee on women and psychology.

She’s also a professor of psychology at California State University in Los Angeles where she was named outstanding professor in 2012. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica, California. I’m Audrey Hamilton and this is Speaking of Psychology. In this episode, we speak with one psychologist who studies and treats people with the disorder to see if it’s possible to be in a relationship with a narcissist and survive. It can lead to an emotionally abusive and toxic environment. But, psychologists say narcissistic personality disorder is more than just overconfidence.

Audrey Hamilton: Narcissism – it’s the buzzword of a society that has become used to posting selfies on Instagram and chronicling their days on Facebook.
